The Mess
"AHHH, A mouse!"my annoying sister screamed and then I heard a crash. I went downstairs t see if every thing was ok. She was still screaming.
"Are you kidding me that's a banana, It's yellow"! I yelled
"Well from far away it looked like a mouse." She said picking up the banana
"Oh no" I screamed looking behind her
"What?" She said confused. She looked behind her self and screamed when she saw it.
"We have to hid that before mom ad dad come home!" I squealed.
" Yah but where will we hid it all." she said quietly.
Well done, you have consistently shown your understanding of how to use quotation marks and are working on using proper punctuation, especially the end punctuation. If you read you writing out loud or to someone else you will pick up on the little errors such as hid should be hide and ad should be and. A challenge for you now is to have that wow factor in your stories; something that has meaning, makes you think, a story that is memorable.
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